Worse still, harbouring bitterness can cripple you emotionally and stand in the way of fulfilling your true potential. By suppressing their anger, they built up a lot of bitterness and resentment which ultimately affected their health. Most of them chose not to confront difficult situations and people, even when it offended them. 3) I wish I had the courage to express my feelings and speak my mindĪccording to Bronnie, many of her dying patients believed they suppressed their true feelings and didn’t speak their mind when they should have, because they wanted to keep peace with others. That way, we can create more space in our lives for happiness and spend more time with the people who mean the most to us. Most of them believed that by simplifying our lifestyle and making better choices, we may not need all that money we’re chasing. When asked what they would do differently if given a second chance, the response was quite surprising. Their regrets were usually about missing out on the lives of their children and the companionship of their spouse. While this role was important, these patients regretted that they allowed work to take over their lives causing them to spend less time with their loved ones. And a few female patients too.Īs breadwinners, their lives were taken over by work, making a living, and pursuing a career. 2) I wish I didn’t work so hardĪccording to Bronnie, this regret came from every male patient she nursed. It appears that our unfulfilled dreams and aspirations have a way of silently stalking us, and eventually haunt our memories in our dying days.Īnd if you’re afraid of what people will say about your choices, remember that their voices will not matter to you in your dying days. I think the biggest lesson from this regret is, if you know what really makes you happy, do it! And Grace’s biggest regret was that she never was able to pursue all the dreams she put on hold. And after her husband was put in a nursing home, she was diagnosed with a terminal illness. One of her dying patients, Grace, made Bronnie promise that she would pursue all her dreams and live her life to its fullest potential without ever considering what others would say.Īccording to Bronnie, Grace was in a long but unhappy marriage. In many cases, their failure to pursue those dreams were often due to fitting into the expectations of others – usually family, friends and society. When people realise their life is coming to an end, it becomes easier to look back and see all those dreams they had but didn’t have the courage to pursue. Let’s now look at each of the 5 most common regrets Bronnie observed: 1) I wish I pursued my dreams and aspirations, and not the life others expected of meĪccording to Bronnie, this was by far the most common regret of all. Health affords us boundless freedom very few realise, until we no longer have it.īut while her dying patients were helpless in the face of their regrets, you and I still have time to do something about our regrets, before it’s too late. One of the key revelations from Bronnie’s study is that we often take our lives for granted because we are healthy. These were the most common regrets her patients wished they hadn’t made as they coursed through life.īut the regrets of the dying can be sound and invaluable advice for the living.Īnd that’s why it’s a really good thing you’re reading this article. Of all the responses she got from her patients, she noticed there were 5 regrets that stood out. And Bronnie noticed as her patients experienced a range of emotions that usually started with denial, and then fear, anger, remorse, more denial, and eventually, acceptance.Īs part of therapy, Bronnie would ask about any regrets they had about their lives, and anything they would do differently if life gave them a second chance. Knowing you are going to die in a few weeks is a very bitter pill to swallow. We prefer to not think or talk about it.īut the sad truth is, all of us will die someday. Her patients were typically old people with very serious illnesses, waiting to die.Īnd a lot of her work involved providing counseling and relief from the physical and mental stresses that come naturally when a human being comes face to face with their mortality.ĭeath is not a comfortable subject for most people. But it appears our regrets gain a lot of weight as we approach the end of our lives.įor many years, Bronnie Ware – an Australian nurse and counselor – worked in palliative care taking care of terminally ill people, most of whom had less than 12 weeks to live.
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